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Balthasar Wörner

On the road at SPIELART

In the Dog House

"Every resident of Bavaria has the right to adequate housing."

Article 106 (1) of the Constitution of the Free State of Bavaria


October is traditionally a month in which the battle for the city really picks up speed. The winter semester is about to start and this year, according to the Ministry of Science, there were more than 25,000 first-semester students. Every year, thousands of green boys (and girls and everyone in between) throw their hats into the ring to take the odd chop after various royal rumbles at flat viewings and finally throw in the towel after the hat. Woe betide those who succumb to kayfabe and believe in a fair housing market.

Go Home is the name of the game when a wrestler announces that he is about to initiate his finisher move. In other words, the sporting spectacle equivalent of the threat of another home cancellation. A go home can also be part of a so-called clean house, which is what it is called when a wrestler throws everyone else out of the ring and is the only one left behind. They can then enjoy their hard-won 30 square metres, which is actually about the size of a wrestling ring, to the full and only have to pay around 788 euros per month according to the current rent index. Certainly no problem for someone who has already proven that he has the right mindset to make it to the top, or to a ground floor flat in Ramersdorf.

In the worst-case scenario, the remaining jobbers will literally find themselves in the dog house. Or they can fall back on one of the discounted camping pitches for students offered by Münchner Raumentwicklungsgesellschaft, a wholly-owned subsidiary of the city. "You will serve hard time." is the catchphrase of the wrestler The Big Boss Man, who usually emerges victorious. But well, that's the way it is, survival of the fittest, if you don't deliver in the ring, sooner or later you'll end up in the trailer park on the outskirts of town. But somehow it's also their own fault, after all they just didn't (or couldn't) take enough. At least they then have a little patch of earth, you could say, a place of rest and reflection somewhere between dropkick and key click. A small spot, half the size of a wrestling ring and still costing 250 euros a month despite the city discount, where they can set up their folding chair at 5 degrees Celsius, analyse the numerous squashes and work on their comeback. By the way, showering after training costs 2.10 euros.

In the meantime, parallel to the SPIELART Festival, the heels of the Bavarian Booking Committee, aka the newly elected state government, have finalised the storyline for the next five years and signed a new coalition agreement. "Together with the local authorities, we are working sustainably towards better housing provision for students throughout the state." Or to put it in the words of WWE legend Christian: "This is for all my peeps!" Certainly, some actors are hoping for positive pops. But how credible a storyline is that includes the euphonious sentence "The Gebirgsschützen in particular are a great calling card for Bavaria and show the Free State at its best" under the heading of art and culture, before the paragraph on theatre funding, is something that everyone in the audience has to decide for themselves. It could well be that you come to the conclusion that this is an 85-page long bury.

So what options are left if you don't want to be a Couchsurfing Ring Rat to those who won the House Show? "If youre not cheating youre not trying." would be a suggestion from WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero. "To be the man, you gotta beat the man", another suggestion from Guerrero's colleague and part-time philosopher Ric Flair. In the end, it does look a bit like tilting at windmills in this city to get a roof over your head, sorry, over your head: "Just when they think they know the answers I change the questions," Roddy The Masked Canadian Piper sums up the landlord's perspective. But the most important thing is never to lose hope. After all, no sport is known for its surprising twists and turns like wrestling, right?

I wish all the Green Boys and Green Girls out there in the Thalkirchen trailer park a miraculous turn in their Angles.




Angle: Angle primarily refers to a story. Everything that happens within this story belongs to the Angle.

Booker: Bookers write the storylines for a league. In big leagues, there are entire booking committees.

Bury: This action exposes a wrestler or official to ridicule in front of an audience.

Chop: A blow, usually to the chest, which is delivered with the palm of the hand and is quite painful.

Dog House: If a wrestler is in the Dog House, the creative team has no ideas for his on-air character. Often this wrestler is then used as a jobber.

Finishing Move: An action by a wrestler that is intended to end the match.

Go Home: A wrestler tells his opponent that the finisher is about to be initiated.

Green Boy: A very inexperienced or new wrestler.

House Show: A show that is not broadcast on TV.

Jobber: The agreed losing of the match is called a "job".

Kayfabe: Kayfabe is a term for maintaining the illusion that there is no collusion at any point in wrestling.

Pops: Reactions a wrestler gets from the audience.

Ring Rat: Girls and women swarming around the arena trying to get the wrestlers into bed after the show.

Squash: A victory where the beaten man could do nothing.

Storyline: The storyline determines the entire flow of a league, with feuds and stables being formed.

Turn: When a wrestler changes his attitude from face to heel and vice versa.


All definitions used in the glossary were taken from the informative German-language wrestling blog genickbruch.com.